Thougts on a Sunday morning

Sunday morning, 8.30 am. Everyone is asleep…except me. I don’t know why I woke up because I’m still a bit tired, but I used the time to register for the 26k freeroll on PartyPoker, had a look at my mailsand old diary and make plans for the day. Actually I wanted to visit another beach, but the weather is not so brilliant, so I don’t know.

Yesterday was a good day. Hanging around the whole day outside, a lovely evening with bowling, friends and Cosmopolitans. About the Cosmopolitans I have something to say: of course the girls from Sex and the City started with it, but it tastes simply great, so I drink it because I like it and not because it is cool

Suddenly I remember me standing on the table in a restaurant – oh dear. But far more interesting were the reactions of the people around me. Some laughed, some looked weird, some amused. Mmmmhh. Havent done it for years, by the way. Still feel a bit stupid – I’m talking too many stupid things and do too many strange things the last days. Maybe weeks. It can also be months

Girlie wisdoms

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Not only Tammy Wynette knew this in when she wrote the song “Stand by your man“. You have to be everything and so much more, and sometimes even this doesn’t seem to be enough. I remember one lesson in school called “education” where our teacher taught us a lot of things which were a bit – hm – unconventional. Well, he was also a bit unconventional because he slept with half of the female teachers until one got pregnant.
So, once (his son was already born) he came to our classroom, we were around 16 years old, threw his bag on his desk and said, I’ll tell you now something you better listen to and never forget. We, young an unspoiled, listened. “Girls” he said “if you ever want to be a good woman, you have to be the best friend, the loving wife, the caring mother of your children, the whore (yes, he said whore) in bed and still play the hard-to-get-game“. We were laughing, but I remember the deep impression his words left on me. I had the feeling, that I learned something really important for my life. The following years I practised his advices more or less (about this mother thing I can’t say anything ), but now, that I am 30 years old, still single, I doubt the truth in his words. Being all that and besides pretty, charming and entertaining is a full-time-job and I can’t say it’s all worth it because I got nowhere doing all this.

The thing is: being all this and maybe more can’t force the affection of the someone you like. From all the lessons life is teaching us I think that’s one of the hardest, that you stand there with all you have give and the other one simply doesn’t want it. The modern phrase is “He/she is just not that into you” or, in the words of a friend “Screw you, bitch!” To accept this fact when you really really like someone is hell on earth, over and over again. We have all been through this, right? And you know you will get over but you just don’t want to be over it – whoever saw 500 days of summer can confirm this.

“Dear” my readers might say now “why say a strange topic on a Sunday? Shouldn’t you read strategy articles for the tournament this evening?” Actually I’m a natural talent ^^ but besides these thoughts belong to my every day life. And I had a look into my digital diaries I was writing during the last years, sometimes smiling, sometimes bewildered, but – and that I have to say – I never lost my sense of humour. Even so.

I have some plans for the next time. Maybe a new haircut or a tattoo maybe…I don’t know. Focus again more on myself, read more…be myself. Things like that.

Will get up now and start my Sunday. And hopefully end up in the money this evening

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