The “open relationship” case

Today, I got up and put almost one hour of effort in my outfit, hair, Make-Up, feeling much better. No glasses any more (had a pink eye last week), new contact lenses – yeah, ready to work.

“What are you doing here?” was the first question I received when I came to office. Ya well, I know the doctor wrote I am also supposed to stay home today but feeling much better…well, my happiness lasted at least 10 minutes, before HR told me to go home due to insurance reason. Great. I almost started begging (“Please don’t send me home! Over 200 mails are waiting for my reply…”) but finally I had to go.
I can tell you, this place on earth can be nice, but in January it’s a complete wet, windy mess. My Indian umbrella is still surviving, my hair was not and my make-up started slowly to run down my face when I reached home, looking like a wet cat. I have never seen such an amount of rain, not even in India during Monsoon. And so I’m sitting here again in my bed, drinking drinking drinking (water), working, reading, not watching movies (boooring) and thinking about life.

Why? The “open relationship” case

Yesterday evening I got a mail from a friend of mine which really shocked me. She had a nice, handsome boyfriend, everything seemed pretty ok. Of course both of them were busy but managed to see each other in a while. Well, now it turned out he has “another someone” and asked my friend if she wants to have an open relationship. My great, lovely, adorable, strong friend refused – of course she did – and that’s the end of the story, of long months building up trust and love.

I’m still bewildered from that story. Who is a Macho ass and has also an open relationship might not want to read my next sentences, so be warned.

I so don’t get even the phrase “open relationship”. Isn’t that an Oxymoron (contradiction) in itself? Why do you even call it then relationship? “Fuckbuddy once I’m around” is a much better description in my sense of understanding. Why can’t you tell before that you are not able to love just one girl? I’m pretty sure that would solve a lot of problems (“Fuck off, asshole” lol).

The relationship I’m used to has a lot to do with commitment, trust, faithfulness, love and, at least, monogamy, and indeed nothing with occasional sex. It might be  old fashioned but even when I was 20, living in a student hostel and had a 19 year old flatmate who had an “open relationship” who had a lot of girl around I just didn’t get what the great freedom in this is.

Maybe these times are paradise for men. I remember a quote by Celine from one of my favorite movies Before Sunrise “You know, I have this awful paranoid thought that feminism was mostly invented by men so that they could like, fool around a little more. You know, women, free your minds, free your bodies, sleep with me. We’re all happy and free as long as I can fuck as much as I want.” It would be far too much to talk now about equal rights of men and woman and being respected as a woman in the same way a man is respected if women behave exactly the same way as man. But I’m seriously wondering where this is all going to. Are the temptations now-a-days so strong because nobody cares any more about faithfulness, etc. and you can have whoever you want whenever you want? Or is it simply, that nobody wants to adjust any more? I mean, is this “open relationship case” the thing every men always wanted to have to and we women need to accept otherwise the man we love disappears?

Maybe me and my girls are discarded models because we still believe in our values I mentioned above. We might not be every-party-night-out-hot-chick and the thrill of chasing (what is quite normal I guess), but besides fast-sex-with-a-drunk-or-not-so-drunk-head we have so much more to offer: someone to rely on, to believe in, who cares, who loves, who will not go away if it’s getting difficult. Who will give the stars and the moon to the someone we love and much more. A home, a place to be.

But, after all, I start slowly to think that’s not what men want. Or maybe we and I met the wrong guys. I just don’t know. And of course there are men outside who are different.
I wish I could write something hopeful for all the girls and women outside with a broken heart because the one’s they love don’t see them or don’t want to see the great chance they are missing because stupid cheap chicks are more tempting. Mmmhhh. But, girls, as long as you have friends who stand by you and still believe in yourself, you’ll be fine – says the expert

Take care!